For so long, people have talked about needing to find work/life “balance” but it is really hard to have true balance – a 50/50 distribution of time. Think about it, how can such a balance exist? If you are working full-time, you are at work a minimum of 40 hours per week. That’s doesn’t include commute time and any extra time you need to give to your job or career. If you are a parent, your obligations exist 24/7. So again, I ask, is it even possible to find a 50/50 balance? Even if you were able to evenly distribute your time and energy, it’s likely one or the other would end up suffering.
Instead, I have found that striving for “alignment” in life can make a huge difference in how you approach your days as well as your life in general. By continuously trying to find the long sought-after balance, we may constantly feel like we are failing because the likelihood is that we will never achieve it. Seeking alignment can help us to acknowledge that balance may not be possible; at certain times, work may take precedence over personal time and vice versa.
Striving for alignment allows us to determine and clarify our values and goals so that all aspects of our life are headed in the same direction. With “balance”, there will always be competing interests. With alignment, we won’t feel like we are choosing one area over the other because we will be moving toward a common goal and our life will flow.
As you start to seek alignment in your life, the following tips can be helpful:
1. Identify your values
What is important to you? Do you value family, service, or integrity? Are respect, money, or having fun more important?
Write down a list of the things and character traits that are important to you in both your professional and home life. Ask yourself:
- What makes me happy?
- How do I enjoy spending my time?
- Where do I draw my energy from?
- What are qualities I admire in others?
Once you’ve answered these questions, pull out the ones that hold the most importance for you and rank them. What have you ranked as your top five?
Once you’ve identified your values, consider whether each aspect of your life is being guided by those values. If not, take a look where you are falling short. For example, if “family” is one of your top 5 values but you don’t get home from work until after dinner and it’s your children’s bedtime or you don’t attend your child’s soccer games, you may realize that you are out of alignment with this value. As a result, you may discover that not honoring that value may be causing you to feel bad. On the other hand, if “having fun” is a high value of yours but you are not engaging in activities that bring you joy and, instead, are making lots of money (which is not a high value), you may determine that you are not living by your values.
Taking a step back can help us realize what is truly important to us. We are, then, better able to design a life that focuses on things of importance.
2. Survey Your Life
After identifying your values, survey your life. Besides identifying whether your values are aligned with different aspects of your life, assess whether they are in alignment with each area of your life.
For example, if “service” is a high value but you are stuck behind a desk staring at a screen all day, you may discover that you are not fulfilled by your job. You may truly feel “stuck”. By simply identifying that being of service is important to you, you can begin to work towards fulfilling that value. While finding a job in a different industry may not be reasonable right now, looking into volunteer opportunities might satisfy you in the interim.
Similarly, if being in “integrity” is one of your high values, but you are regularly asked to do something at work that you do not feel is ethical, you may feel uncomfortable or in a state of stress. Finding ways to address this may help you feel better about yourself.
Surveying your life is not limited to your work life, however. If health is important to you but you have not taken care of yourself, physically or mentally in a long time, taking a look at your non-work life may provide the clarity you need to move towards reaching your health goals.
The goal is to have all areas of your life move in the same direction.
3. Move Forward Towards Realignment
While it would be wonderful if you could click your ankles three times and make all the changes you believe are right for you, life doesn’t work that way. Instead, identifying your values and discovering where your life and your values don’t match, can help you to step into alignment. Being aware of what’s important to you and where you are feeling a disconnect allows you to determine what you need to change.
Making these changes takes work. If your job or career doesn’t match up with your values, and you determine a change is necessary, it may take time for you to make a change. In the meantime, use the time to experiment. Can you find a way to implement your values in your current job to find fulfillment in the interim? If community is important to you but you have yet to find your “tribe”, think about what different activities or organizations you could try or join where people with similar interests might be.
Life is not about balance. Life is about living in such a manner that all aspects of your life match up so that you are being your true, authentic self every step of the way.
Now, go out and live the life you were put on this Earth to do!